For you married people

We can work together to make sure we're the husbands and wives, moms and dads that we should be. Share your thoughts, experiences, and learn from others.

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For you married people

Postby DaveHawk » Mon Nov 19, 2007 8:10 am

1st I'd like to say;I've been married going on 27 years ! WOW It's really been that long.

We have 3 son's Jonathan 27 the 25th on Nov.
Jarrod 21 with a Jan BD and Jacob 16 with an Aug BD

My wife teaches Sp. Ed. from the past 28 years and Ive been a starving artist and self employed since 2 months after our wedding.

It has not been an easy road to travel but we both understand the level of commitment the Lord charged us with and we full heatedly excepted that charge from him.

I would like to get a discussion going about what it takes to keep a marriage going.
What it takes to keep the fire alive and in the lowest time what it takes to survive the deepest trails.

I think this type of decision is necessary to help younger cuples and this tool the Lord has given us to [Internet] can be a strong blessing for many who are struggling.
If God is for me who can be against me.

www.colonialrestorationstudio.com
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Postby GeneralHavok » Mon Nov 19, 2007 5:25 pm

I've been happily married for more than 18 years. Mrs. Havok and I were married on her grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary.

I thought it would be a good idea to ask Grampa for the secret of his success. He said that divorce was never an option (this seems like a given to me, but others obviously don't think that way)...and his advice was simple:

Learn when to keep your mouth shut.

That's been very helpful!
.

We're all looking forward to the future...but none of us more than the giant, evil robots.

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Postby DaveHawk » Tue Nov 20, 2007 7:23 am

That's a good one , know when. Know When can be the starting Fraze for allot of situations. Finding which ones Know when fits too best is only learned from experance.
My wife and I also we given the charge to remove the "D" word from our vocabulary. That was the best decision we made. Because it got real tuff real fast and a real kid 11 months later.
If God is for me who can be against me.

www.colonialrestorationstudio.com
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Postby Mike Brooks » Tue Nov 20, 2007 1:29 pm

I suggest have a date night once a week, I have heard that from many couples..
Last edited by Mike Brooks on Sat Dec 01, 2007 5:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby DaveHawk » Tue Nov 20, 2007 3:39 pm

Mike Shelly and I try to get a night together each week but sometimes it just dosn't work out. We also try to get away to a B&B every other month if we can. That's a good way to earn some brownie points.
If God is for me who can be against me.

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Postby davidlt89 » Thu Dec 20, 2007 10:27 am

Mike,
sometime that is hard with the kids. I have two, one is 4, the other 2, and one on the way. Hard to find time together to do anything. How did some of you oldtimers handle this situation?
Psalm 27:13

13 Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living.
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Postby Bubba in FL » Thu Dec 20, 2007 12:39 pm

Maybe this should be another thread, but, we'll move it if it needs to be moved (right Mike?). I've been married 21 years (on the 27th of this month) and have always tried to involve my wife with me in my outdoor passions. She doesn't hunt, with a gun, but does with a camera now and she loves to fish (probably more than I do even) and she is now very active in the NWTF Women in the Outdoors program. We shoot traditional archery together as a family, we fish, camp and hunt together - seems to be working. She would just as soon spend a weekend camping and fishing as to going to a B & B - honest, I've asked her!

A lot of men I've been around have treated their outdoor persuits as an "escape" from family - I try to treat it as another opportunity to spend time with my family. Now, my attitude may change if she ever shoots better than me at sporting clays! :grin:

I guess what I'm saying is that sometimes you gotta ask them to get involved in your passion - could be that you end up with the best hunting or fishing partner you've ever had. I know that I did! :grin:
"Get up, Peter. Kill and eat."

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Postby davidlt89 » Sun Dec 23, 2007 8:22 pm

Bubba,
that seems like a good idea, but my wife would never go for it. I had come up with the idea of digital photagraphy on wildlife and it looked good. Would give us a chance to be out together and give me a chance to scout. Was not long after our first kid came and it never happened. Then I realized, did I want to do this so me and my wife could spend time together, or did I just want to scout. If I am going to be honest, I had my motive first. Marriage is tough indeed. Although we have, as some of you say, removed the "D" word from the marriage, we must not fool ourselves that it will never happen just because we "removed" it. I don't believe in divorce and neither does my wife, but I know without hard work it is always a possibility. I became Christian about 2 years ago, and it was not until I submitted my life to Christ I even bagan to realize that our marriage needed work. One of my best friends at my church, who is also one of the pastors, does marriage counseling and we try to get time with him but it is nearly impossible with 2 young kids and one on the way. He has also started leading the youth group which takes up a lot of his time. It also does not help that my wife has not yet submitted her life to Christ. Sometimes we are taking to totally different point of views. Bless her though because she is willing to work with me, and does not think I am crazy for pointing out biblical views on marriage. I recently took mikes advice and got the book "the five love languages". After starting this book, I am excited. I also mention to my pastor friend doug that I got this book, and low and behold it is one of his favorite books. I have only been married for 8 years and we have made it through some tough times. God has held us together for a reason and I don't want to blow that for lack of effort on my part. I look up to you guys who have made it through some tough times and kept the marriage going. I also look up to you because you understand that a marriage is worth working for and it can be very rewarding if it is done Gods way. You guys will be hearing from me and I will keep you updated as I go through this book. Take care and God Bless.
Psalm 27:13

13 Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living.
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Postby DaveHawk » Mon Dec 24, 2007 8:14 am

Dave, once every other month farm the kids out to an inlaw or have a sitter come in over night and set up a B&B somewhere she likes. Try to hit a Date Night out once a week.
I have been told that I like hunting more then anything else and if I had to make a way to get a hunt in I would find that way. Well the Same goe's for a Date Night. You make it a piority and get uer done. Plus a single or a dozen rose's dosn't matter to them, they are a great ice breaker or a date maker.
If God is for me who can be against me.

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Postby Grizzly » Mon Dec 24, 2007 2:19 pm

Here are a few things I have learned after 42 years with a wonderful wife. We have had some good times together and some bad times together. The key word is "together"!! One of the first things we learned was that all problems are OUR problems and never to blame the other person when things go wrong.

I don't expect her to enjoy everything I do, and she dosen't expect me to enjoy everything she does. However, having said that, we do have our common ground. With us, it is God and each other first, then music, our family, and our church. There are others, but I'm not trying to make a list. My point is that there is a need to do things and enjoy things as one, but be secure enough to let both be thimselves.
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